I was sitting in my current favorite coffee shop, working on an article for my ScriptMag column, when the guy in the seat next to me turned asked if I would look at three loglines and tell him which I thought was best.
Okay, it is Los Angeles, but I swear I wasn’t wearing my “Pitch Me: I’m A Story Consultant!” t-shirt.
Nevertheless, I gave him some feedback, because working on loglines – both for free and for hire – is part of what I do. I enjoy it and believe I’m pretty good at it. It was easy to pick the best logline of the three.
The Other Side of The Desk: The Inside Scoop on Pitching
As a producer, I’ve been in every pitching situation imaginable, on both sides of the desk.
I’ve heard thousands of pitches from writers. I’ve brought pitches into every studio, often with A-list writers, directors and stars attached. From swank studio conference rooms to a cramped office inside an aged production trailer, I‘ve been there, done that. I’ve set up a cable film with a phone call and a newspaper clipping. With a single submission, I’ve set up a studio project based on a few sentence description of a short-lived TV series from decades past.
I’ve had execs thank me profusely for bringing in such an impressive story – and then pass. I’ve suffered through an exec who’ve failed to mask their dislike of a concept from the first minute, as well as an exec who failed to keep her eyes open in one of the most dynamic action dramas ever, until the arrestingly handsome writer jumped up and began acting it out.
I was listening to a pitch from a writing team, when the door to my office opened revealing – for my eyes only – a movie star clad only in his tidy whities. Shocked as I was, he expected to find his costume designer on the other side.
I’ve taken these experiences, the good, bad and downright painful, and become a Pitch Doctor. I specialize not in getting people to “Open up, stick out your tongue and say “Ah,” but to get them say “Ah-HA!” by helping them discover what to pitch, how to pitch and how to use pitching as a fast track to success.
When I first began teaching the art of pitching, I turned to my friend, the late Blake Snyder of Save the Cat fame, and asked, “What do writers really want to know about pitching?”
Blake insisted that what he and all other writers wanted was what we – the execs – are thinking in a pitch meeting.
What’s going on in our heads?
So here are some secrets from the other side of the desk – what executives won’t likely tell you in the room.
What really matters in a pitch and what simply shouldn’t be said.
Know the mistakes guaranteed to sink your pitch and the surefire ways to slam dunk it.
SEVEN SLAM DUNKS
Pitching perfection. Nothing but net!
A great hook – we can’t get it out of our minds. What I call a “Hooky Idea.”
You surprise us. We’ve heard it all, so actually fresh story, a twist we truly didn’t see coming, grabs us. A completely new twist on something we’ve see before is a total turn on.
We can immediately think of Male Stars for the hero, or better yet, Two Male Stars for the two leads.
We see trailer moments and a one-sheet.
You pitch something somehow similar to whatever was a huge hit or surprise success at the box office last weekend – but different.
You have a potential Four Quadrant concept, meaning it hits all segments of the movie going audience.
We know how to sell it and who will buy it – the Number One way to succeed.
SEVEN WAYS YOU’RE SUNK
It’s Execution Dependant! The deliciousness is in the details, not the concept. The Number One way to tank, as you simply cannot succeed. This should not be pitched – EVER. Go spec it. Write something marvelous. It may take you a hundred drafts, but ultimately it makes people passionate to bring it to the screen. Even if it doesn’t get sold, execs will want to have a project with you.
TEN seconds in the wrong world – not the world of your story – and we’re gone. If you don’t tell us the tone of your movie, we’ll start making it up in our heads. And it’s not likely to be the movie in your head. You will never get us back. There’s a very old saying, “There’s a fine line between comedy and tragedy.” And the reason it’s a very old saying is because it’s true.
We can’t follow your story. Where are we in the world, if it’s not here and now? Where are we in the story? Is this Act Two or still Act One? Take us by the hand and have your hero lead us into your world and your story.
We already have a project like it. We’ll cut you off immediately. We don’t want you to sue us for stealing your idea – an idea that we’re already developing. Don’t take it personally. If you don’t have something else ready to pitch, learn what we are looking for and get out. Live to fight another day.
You hit the genre we just “don’t get.” Everyone has them. Perhaps it’s just not our cup of tea; a story we don’t respond to for personal reasons. Be especially wary of black comedies and spoofs, which are very few people’s cup of tea.
Your idea does not fit our mandate. Do your homework; know who you’re pitching to. Don’t bring a girl’s coming of age story to Joel Silver’s company. Don’t pitch a story about toys that come to life in the attic to Pixar. Yes, that was a real pitch. Can’t make this stuff up.
All hat and no cattle. Academy Award® nominated writer Mark Fergus calls this, “All rocket, no bottle.” It seems like a hook, but there’s nothing to support it. The pieces don’t fit together. It sounds cool, but it makes no sense, has no structure and lacks the Essential Elements of story.
AND ONE BONUS as I’m seeing this so much lately in pitches and queries:
Never, ever tell us how successful your project is going to be. That there will be sequels, action figures and theme park rides. Even top studio marketing execs can’t determine this, so it makes you look like an amateur.
You wouldn’t play darts blindfolded? Target Hooky Ideas!
In industry meetings, we’re constantly asking writers, “What’s Next?” eager to hear about their next project, hoping it’s a terrific idea.
Screenwriting is about decision-making – thousands upon thousands of decisions. But the single most important decision you will ever make as a writer is what to write next. I guarantee it.
George Lucas
According to George Lucas, who knows a bit about filmmaking, “A movie is a success or failure from the minute you solidify the concept. Execution is 50 percent. It is the primal attachment to the concept that makes the movie work or not work.”
We’re constantly looking for the next great movie idea. It’s the Big Fish all the industry is hunting for, and the best possible way for a new writer to break in. I call these captivating concepts “Hooky Ideas.”
Screenwriters devote years to writing and rewriting and rewriting a script, striving to make it what I call “more better.” And yet, often their process for figuring out what to write in the first place is about as methodical as throwing darts – blindfolded.
How can you tell when you have a Hooky Idea?It’s tempting to say, “You’ll know it when you see it” – because believe me you will. You won’t be able to get it out of your head, and neither will anyone else who hears it. It will grab you – and your imagination – and it won’t let go.
A Hooky Idea immediately intrigues us. It makes you want to know more; it gets you hooked and sticks with you. In a few sentences, or even a few well-chosen words, a Hooky Idea floods our mind with images and emotions.
When you hear a Hooky Idea, you know what the movie will FEEL LIKE. Right off the bat, you know if this is a movie that you wanna see.
A Hooky Idea makes other writers think, “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that!”
